In the digital era where interactions are fleeting, romance has become heart emojis, and ‘ghosting’ has become a common way to end a relationship (just disappearing without saying anything), it is understandable that dating has become more of a Rubix Cube than ever before.
So, then, how can you possibly tell if a guy is actually into you, or if he’s just biding his time until someone else catches his eye? If you ever find yourself asking “Does he like me?” Then, ask yourself these questions…
“Is he investing real time in getting to know me?”
Texting is great. It’s very convenient, quick, and it allows you to communicate with people at times when we never could before. However, we cannot expect texting and chatting to solely create a real lasting bond between two people.
The only real sign of true investment in a relationship is TIME spent together. Anyone can text you all day long. Anyone can shower you with compliments. Anyone can send flowers to your work.
But…none of it matters if he’s not spending real time with you creating a bond.
“Is he pushing for sex right away?”
I have a strong personal opinion that there is no ‘right time’ to sleep together. If you both want to do it on the first date, great! If you want to wait a few dates, great! What’s important is that the two of you are both comfortable with the intimacy happening and understanding that the relationship might not work out.
That being said – a man who’s serious about you, though he will obviously want to sleep with you – will not push the subject. Why not? Because the sex is not his ultimate goal. Spending time with you and building a relationship is his goal, and that will happen with or without the sex.
Naturally I’m not saying that a guy will wait around for a year, because that would just feel to him like you’re not interested or attracted to him. But he will allow things to move at your pace out of respect.
“Is he paying real attention to the things I say?”
Did you mention the smell of a candle that you like to him? Is there a book you enjoy reading or a show you enjoy seeing? A man who is into you will hang on your words and pay attention to detail.
“Is he comfortable being affectionate in public?”
Not all guys are into PDA (public display of affection), and that’s okay. But there is a big difference between not being the touchy type, and actively trying to appear single. You should be with a man who is proud to have you. Someone who is comfortable letting the world know you’re together. Someone who will want to appear as a team.
Life is too short to be with someone who doesn’t fully appreciate you, and show it.
“Would I accept this type of treatment from a friend?”
It’s not only important how you feel about the person you’re with – it’s also important how he makes you feel about yourself when you’re with him.
I know many women who make excuses for poor treatment from a man. He has a stressful job. He’s been traveling this week. He really loves me deep down. He just isn’t very expressive.
Regardless of what the issue is, it is imperative to be 100% honest with yourself about a way someone is treating you. We get caught up in the excitement of a new relationship and can easily overlook warning signs – but your instinct and intuition is strong, and it should be acknowledged.
Ask yourself if you would accept the type of treatment he’s giving you from a friend. Because, the best relationships are built with a foundation of friendship in the first place. If you cannot create that type of connection with a person, then why would you want to be with them intimately?
Honesty is not only important between partners – but also with yourself.